Dream with flaws

shelley l seventeen l connecticut
I'm still learning a lot about my self. I try my best to stay positive, i'm constantly laughing or smiling. I'm flattered by big words and optimism. I like long car rides, long conversations, weird people and weird things. I find myself making silly faces a lot, i enoy being silly for the most part. i like taking a thousand useless pictures in a day. I'm not that interesting or anything..don't worry i dont take things serious and my humor gets in the way. intrigue me. tell me.

Dear self

I always contemplated suicide when i was a teenager, but always scared to actually commit it. Ever since i got into a relationship with my bestfriend who is still my bestfriend today i never really thought about it. But today my mind blew me and i just couldnt hold the stress and frustration in. I hate being ugly, my personality, being used, and most of all days where i have no friends. I hate my existence. I hate needing to survive off pot to make me happy rather then overwhelmed.